Why Do We Fail At Our Goals?

Why is it so hard to complete our goals?  We are motivated and full of determination but yet it always seems that we eventually falter and fall short of the mark.  The really bad part is that every time we fail we feel more powerless that we will actually ever accomplish what we want to do.  We begin to believe that we will never find success in reaching our goals.  Sound familiar?

Even highly successful, disciplined people fail at self-improvement goals.  I consider myself to be pretty determined and I’ve accomplished a lot in my life.  I’ve authored a book that took 10 years for me to write, I built a successful gym from the ground floor that is still going after 25 years, I’ve spoken before congress and successfully convinced the Governor of Texas to veto a bill that was against his best interest politically, I’ve raised a beautiful daughter that is now hugely successful and I’ve had a loving and successful marriage for 24 years.  I really don’t know how to fail.  Everything I do in my life is a commitment I make to be ALL IN, but yet I fall short of my goals for self-improvement all the time.  I try as hard as I can and I use all the willpower I can muster up to accomplish what I told myself I was going to do, and yet I eventually fall short. 

What if instead of suffering a collapse of willpower after weeks of exhausting effort we could strategically plan small, measurable steps daily that could keep us on track without having to fight our obvious habits that are ingrained in our DNA?  Would that be something that you would consider?

Let’s look at how habits create our behaviors. 

British Researchers recently summarized in a study published in Health Psychology,  “[habit] automaticity may be broken down into a number of features:  lack of awareness, mental efficiency, lack of control and lack of conscious intent.”  In other words, we don’t think before we act.  We just do.  We are unaware that there is an autopilot of habits built in us from continuously repeating the same actions based on a specific mental or visual cue that prompts us to take a certain action.  Most of the time we aren’t even aware that is what we are doing, but it is still true, nonetheless.  For us to break this cycle of habitual behavior it takes real effort and most of the time causes serious mental stress that eventually cause our willpower to lose out to our habits and patterns.    It’s only natural that we are going to fail when it comes to vague goals that are really more like long-term projects rather than short goals that can be measured daily. 

“I am going to lose weight.”  Hmm, well lets see that requires you to change your exercise habits, eating habits and your vitamin regimen, which you may have had from childhood.  What if instead, we were able to choose one thing that we could do daily for 30 days that would actually make a dent in that long-term goal?  Suppose you examine your life and realize that for the past 10 years you have been skipping breakfast and then by 10am you are grabbing a donut out of the break room because your hunger pangs are just too much to resist.  What if you could, instead, commit to eating a healthy breakfast at home daily and forego the sugary donut.  Just that one change could potentially save you hundreds of daily calories.  It’s simple, it’s measurable and your success is guaranteed every day you get up and eat from home.  Yes, you will face some obstacles along the way, but with the right mental cue when you see the donut, you can create a habit that will last and over time make a huge impression on your goal to “lose weight.”

Today examine how your habits are creating you, and determine which ones are causing you to fall short of your goals.  Write them down because when you are aware of your habits you can actually begin to choose small, measurable daily goals to create change instead of feeling defeated by your huge project goal. 

Until next time, keep reaching for that healthy, happy life you deserve. 

For more information on health and happiness go to www.coachellen.idlife.com and take your FREE, HIPAA compliant health assessment and lifestyle report.